In the beginning
Most people feel drinking alcohol is innocent enough. Having a few drinks, few laughs, play some pool, maybe a poker game, good times. Takes a bit of an edge off of life and gives a few hours to kick back and just set aside the problems that keep us awake at night. A way to unwind, loosen up, and maybe bring a quiet and reserved outer shell, transformed to a more inner part that wants to open up and become more interactive. What's the harm, a couple drinks here, a couple drinks there? For most it's not a problem, but for others, the predator has struck on that very first drink. Some things I say below may sound all too familiar, some may sound like things you may not want to hear. some may say, "what gives you the right?" The right is experience, for I have lived it and after many years, I found my way out, but it's not easy. It's a few drinks, whats the harm right?
The Predator Awaits
Like any predator, alcohol will take its time. A predator will stalk its prey, watch its reactions, seek out the weakest among the herd. Sometimes the prey is hurt and spotted right away, while others break down over time, and take a bit longer. Either way, eventually, the predator picks the most vulnerable for the time to strike. I can only speak from my experience and my observations of others. However, I have noticed that it begins innocently enough, or maybe after a bad day. Most people just have a night or weekend of it and do not again for a while, but for many others it quietly sneaks up on them. I have never seen anything wrong with having a few drinks or maybe occasionally having a good time and maybe having a few too many, making it home safely the proper way. I have also seen it as a start into a spiral spin that could be the beginnings of a downward motion that always involves the words somewhere in the conversation, "I am not hurting anyone". As I notice the first stage of denial that there could be a problem in the works. The person begins to find reasons to have a drink. Just to relax, my birthday, sports is on, favorite movie is on, its hot, its cold, helps me focus, was in an argument, etc, etc. Or the oxy-moron, I am drinking because of financial struggles, so it helps me take my mind off of it for a few hours. So you spend money on alcohol because you are broke instead of paying a debt. The predator is very quiet, calm, and very patient. It sits on a shelf disguised in many versions just waiting for the person, in a vulnerable state, to wander from the herd to come nearer to it. This predator lets the prey come to it.
The Middle
This stage you are probably well into drinking somewhat everyday. Most likely have a few more than you lead on to people or admit. In fact, if progressed enough, you may have even convinced yourself that you havent drank as much as you have. Mood swings start to become clear, insomnia and quality of sleep most likely becoming noticeable. Most likely, this is when the onset of anxiety begins. You start to notice subtle things like your quality of life has started to change differently. Now, with all the above said, no big deal really right? A hangover, lots of water, rapid heartbeat, some pills, and good to go. You know, the vows to the porcelain God and you will never do it again for the longest of times, or will it be again that afternoon? I like to call this the middle because in my experience, this is where one decides to keep that vow or go on to the next paragraph.
The Predator Tightens its Grip
Experience tells me by this step your pretty much in a downward spiral. Lack of sleep has worn on you, anxiety growing worse and most likely panic attacks are beginning or increasing. You drink everyday to calm down, but takes more to do it. You have shut yourself out to most your family and friends, and most likely even to yourself. Chances are you now have become dependant on your alcohol addiction. Drinking everyday, risking DUI, injury, your relationships, financial burdens, the list can go on. Including the inner struggle of knowing you feel bad for what you are doing, so you drink more to forget it. The more the anxiety, the more the alcohol, the stronger the anxiety, the more the alcohol. The spiral deepens to the point that your asking yourself what is wrong with me, I don't want to live this way anymore. This is usually the point that everyone around you, including yourself, knows that something is wrong. Normally, they just wont say anything. However, you know, and if any of this still sounds like you or a loved one, then you must and need to read on.
The End - Looking in the Mirror
The first thing to remember is a predator does not always catch its prey. I can tell you, it does not matter if an individual was court ordered, had surgery, spouse threaten to leave, lose a job, lack of money, whatever. You will not get over your dependance of alcohol unless you are ready to become sober. I will also tell you, chances are, you will have a relapse. Why? One is you wont quit until you have reached the absolute low spot of your life, and that is a point that only you will know. Secondly, you wont until you discover the underlying cause of why you drink in the first place. One of the things I learned is taking a good long hard look in the mirror and I didn't like what I become. But it is hard to face others, when you can't even face yourself. Its goes for family as well. Loved ones and friends should better understand that someone dependant on alcohol isn't always just a drunk. Even if they relapse. There is something there that is inside, in most cases. No one should just be written off. I have noticed anyway, if a friend or family member begins to pick up on the person starting to talk more and more about quitting or drinking less, then that is a hint to intervene. If you are a family member reading this, tough love is all I can say, if they don't listen, then you did your part. Your part is to understand, watch for the signs, and hear the hints. It is important not to bring up that the person drinks but more important to ask why do you drink? Most the time I have found, the person has mentioned it one way or another, just no one ever listened. Once I learned why I drank, then I started to climb the stairs, its was one step at a time, but it was up from there.
The One That Got Away
I can't stress enough if you find yourself struggling with alcohol dependency, do not try to tackle it alone. You need to be in the care of a qualified physician or proper detox program. It is very dangerous or could be life-threatening to attempt to go cold turkey. Accept the support of family and friends, join a group therapy program like AA. Find hobbies or tasks to keep you busy. Avoid things that remind you of the habit but don't cut them out completely. Non-alcoholic beers do not help keep you off the habit. It's a slow process, but the reward is greater. Over time, you will feel healthier, sleep better, and if you get a craving talk to someone. Think back to that low point, do you really want to be at that point again, or worse? It isn't going to be easy, but in time, you can pat yourself on the back for your sense of achievement. Having the courage to endure and face the tough road. It takes a lot of courage to stand in front of people and say your an alcoholic, or a recovering alcoholic. You can get all the support in the world, but in the end, it's up to you and you only to make the final decision of sobriety. Then you might be able to help someone else, for experience of living it is worth 100 textbooks. Then you can look in the mirror and give yourself a smile, and know the predator had to tell the story of the one that got away.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6460451
No comments:
Post a Comment